Done

I finished it.  Book 3 of the Luke Fletcher series was over and with it came the sadness of knowing that I would have to find another book to feed my mind, or maybe I would just have to re-read the series.  I will definitely do that but I'll take some time to digest it first.

It's interesting the way a book can stir emotions.  I've read and re-read 50 Shades about 4 times now and in the middle of the series, I enter into some sort of depression because of how great their love is for each other.  It's weird and I usually end up taking it out on my poor husband.  By the end of the books though, I am usually acting better.  I am much more relieved by a happy ending and can appreciate that their lives will be good forever.  And while I doubt he'll ever read 50 Shades, I would tell him little bit and pieces that seemed worthy. 

This series affected me differently.  For one, I wanted to tell him as any details as I could get out in order as possible.  I know I missed some, but I think he got the gist.  I suppose I'll tell him the ending tomorrow.  On the other hand, while their love is also great and equally intense, it didn't spiral me down into oblivion for a minute.  I found glee and giddiness that quite frankly, kinda shocked me.  I am pleased to find another book series that took a hold of me like this.  For the whole weekend, I was wrapped up in their lives and completely taken by their circumstance.  It was lovely.  And I was quite smitten.  And tonight, as I finished it, there was a sense of calm and completeness.  And I wanted to be with my husband and hold him and connect with him.  It was a good thing!

So now I am off to my next venture.  I have tweeted the author (Karice Bolton) asking about recommendations for what to read next and will see what comes.  Maybe it's time to read the Sylvia Day series again and finally get into that 4th book.

:)

I'm off to watch Castle with my love as we eat our bowls of cereal and snuggle on the loveseat. 

Distracted

I'm finding it hard to focus this morning.

I am in the midst of a book series that has completely taken over my want to do anything except for sit still and finish the story.  Over the weekend, I managed to get through the first two books, and when I finished the 2nd last night, I continued on with the 3rd until my Kindle died.  It left me wanting more.  But sleep beckoned, and with work today, and then family time later, it'll be hours until I am able to get back into it.  Such a problem to have, am I right?  I love it when authors are able to grab me and, essentially, have their way with me until I am forced to reckon with their decisions and live with the consequences that they have created.

So yes, focus is not coming easily this morning.  

On a different note, today is International World Peace Day!  The email that I subscribe to informed me so and came with a bevy of links including how to interject peace into your day, your pictures, and to share it with others... including crafts!  Oh how crafts provide such a lovely distraction.

I whipped up this little diddy, snapped a pic, and shared it with the social world.  I have thoughts of going home and "planting" it in my flowerbed of dying succulents in the kitchen.  Maybe they will find peace.  (Side note... who knew succulents were so hard to keep alive?  I thought they were supposed to be friendly?!?)

By the way, the first in the book series is "Hidden Sins" by Karice Bolton, second is "Buried Sins" and third is "Redemption".  They are the Luke Flethcer books.  And they are wonderful.  I tweeted the author and said that these books were making me as giddy as when I read 50 Shades.  She thanked me for saying something so nice.  :)

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Pinwheels for Peace:
http://www.pinwheelsforpeace.com/pinwheelsforpeace/the_project.html

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Monday Morning Music Video (A weekly series that I do)
Just One Day - Mighty Oaks.
Look it up.  Or find the link on my twitter page.

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I am staring at a man across the way who seems lost.  He walked to the end of the driveway, took a deep breath, another puff of his smoke, and seemed to gaze out into nothingness.  I wonder what's going on in his world today.  May he find peace.

Blessings

Some people are blessed.  They have good lives, ooze goodness and just seem plain-ole content and happy.  Others seem less so.  Life is a struggle, and even if they appear to have it all together, something is off or holding them back.  This past Sunday, I feel like we were given the answer as to why this is.  Aside from having faith and being part of a fellowship of believers, blessings come from God and putting your complete trust in Him; in particular, blessings come from tithing.  Plain and simple.  If you put your trust in God and give back to the church, then you will receive blessings.

I am so happy that we found a church we like!  The pastor is amazing!  The kids program is great and the importance of fellowship is stressed at every corner.  Rob, our pastor, talked about tithing last week.  And it wasn't about asking for money.  It's about helping the church reach others.  And in doing so, you will be blessed (in various fashions). 

This is something that we are striving towards.

7 years married, what??

On Sunday, hubby and I will be celebrating 7 years of wedded bliss!   The little one tonight is with the Grands tonight so that we could have a bona-fide date night.  So naturally, we played around on some train tracks and took some pictures.  :)  We also went to dinner at Trackside, went to the movies (The Gift), and went out for ice cream afterwards.  The pictures are probably my favorite part though.  #justsayin

I can't believe it's been 7 years already!  It seems like only yesterday that we were chatting online (hello Mr.Dream and Mrs.Whisper) and having our first date.  So much has happened in that 8.5ish years of knowing each other, and I am so blessed to celebrate another year of togetherness with him.  He truly is the person that I most enjoy doing life together with!
And I wouldn't have it any other way!

Cheers to our journey.  I love you!

P.S.  Let's talk about that movie (The Gift) sometime... crazy, eh?

Fermented regrets.

"So we bottled and shelved all our regrets,
Let them ferment and came back to our senses,
Drove back home and slept a few days,
Woke up and laughed at how stupid we used to be."
Mistakes We Knew We Were Making
- Straylight Run

I go there somedays. 

And here is a picture of some jellyfish... because it's pretty and I love the contrast.

Font and Opinions

Some time last year, I ran across this font called Kingsthings Slipperylip and I immediately fell in love with it.  It was quirky, full of character and just plain pretty.  It would make a lovely statement piece in a child's room - hello ABC's printed in the font and framed on a wall.  But realistically speaking, it's not super usable beyond that.  And so, I begin to question my claiming that it is my favorite font.  And then I begin to consider what my favorite font would be.  And then I bring serif and sans-serif into the mix... and I have to stop.  As in everything life, all fonts have their place, I suppose, and therefore each serve their own purpose.  I can appreciate that quality and move on to say that I can ::enjoy:: each one of them.  It's hard to choose a favorite though...

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I wish I was less cryptic when I was younger.  I was re-reading my old blog the other day and it was so vague that it was humorous.  I wrote like I had an audience, which I didnt.  And I addressed my blog readers as if they were my closest confidant who knew all of my inner-most secrets.  Oh my.  And I would bring up things that have no relevance these days and just leave me scratching my head.  I even talk about meeting up with this guy in New York, which after some serious remembering, must be talking about this guy named Skylar that I talked to for a bit.  But who knows.  That's not even the worst of it.  Lol.

One time, I was told that I was cryptic by R.  And boy did that stick around.  And yes, I definitely was but, in my defense, so was he.  My away - messages were full of song lyrics that could be taken one way or another, but that's the way I rolled then.  I've calmed down a bit since.  But then again, I have no need to play those games anymore.  

Truth

One day last week, after finishing my Liberte yogurt, I found myself contemplating that morsel of truth found on the underside of the lid:

"Whatever satisfies the soul is truth." - Walt Whitman

A strong statement.  And one that I admittedly tried to find fault in.  I am quite the skeptic and philosopher, and when faced with generic confounds of wisdom, I think it's human nature to first, question it, and second, try to tear it down.

And so I though about it hard.   Can truth really be broken down as purely those things that satisfy the soul?  What if those things are sinful?  Would sin satisfy the soul?   I think, ecumenical speaking (and I don't even know if that's spelled correctly or if that's the right usage), that sinful things would not satisfy the soul... they go against God and therefor cannot satisfy the soul.  Eventhough in some instances, they would appear to do so.  Sin feels good but it doesn't satisfy the soul.  Even when we are sinning, we know that it is wrong.  And for that reason, it will not fill our soul with good.  Our souls belong to God and are to be filled with goodness that can only come from God.  And since God is truth, God satisfies the soul.  He gives peace, comfort, and completeness.

On a lesser note, I find great joy in photography.  I love being able to capture a moment and give it worth beyond my memories.  Photography is a visual map to my days and time, and through it, I connect with myself, others around me, and even the spiritual side of things.

This past weekend, we had the pleasure of helping my dad celebrate his birthday.  He and his wife had all of the kids and grandkids up to the Smokies for a weekend of togetherness.  And it was awesome!  Penny did great and truly enjoyed herself.  And she got to experience new things... like an aquarium and a petting zoo.  The feeling of being able to walk amongst a herd of goats and deer and feel no fear.  She talked to them, watched them, and interacted with them.  It brought such joy to my day to watch her and to experience that with her.  I feel like that is what I am charged to do for her, and that it something that we are gladly taking on!  That is another truth that satisfies our souls.

TBT

Tonight I got to thinking.  I was winding down and chilling on the sofa and my mind started wandering over my past peoples.  My past best friends.  Our journeys, adventures, and ever-so-adamantly documented happenings.  I thought about all of the good times and how we just drifted apart.  It's sad but I think it is a natural progression.  I think it's true when they say that people are put into your lives at specific times to serve a purpose.

My college friends served an amazing purpose for me.  Throughout middle and high school, I was very much a loner.  I wasn't comfortable in my body and didn't have a lot of friends.  I had some, but not "besties".  My first semester of college, that all changed.  I put myself into the International Business Freshmen Learning Community.  I was interested in the classes and the schedule was appealing, so I dove in.  Within weeks I had formed close friendships with a small group of friends: Meagan, Sean and Jamie (for a minute, to eventually be replaced by Michael).  We may have been an unlikely grouping, but damned if we didn't all hit it off and stick together like glue.  We had class together, went to the gym together, and had movie nights at their dorms.  And it was all plutonic.  Guy friendships were new to me and super exciting.  It literally opened up my world. 

That Fall I also started dating.  I found joy in online dating and instant messaging.  I loved to camp out in my closet office and just chat and chat and chat.  It was another foray into my own self that I had never explored.  And again, it changed my world.  It gave me confidence.  It made me realize just what I wanted out of life.  I went on many first dates.  Held a few hands.  And kissed one or two.  And then I got my heart broke.  But those original college friends were always there for me.  We would discuss ::everything::.

We stayed like that through college too.  I found another close friend in Michael, my Biology buddy.  He was awesome.  He was great to hang with and he was artsy and in to film, and mercurial and had a great laugh and would walk me to my classes.  He was my Jose from 50 Shades.  I think we may of been falling for each other, but it happened at different times... he told me that much once.  But at that point, I had just met G and was falling head-over-heels quickly for him.

By the time college ended, we were all poised to go different directions.  Sean ended up in the Northeast.  Meagan was heading to Nashville, and Michael was still in Atlanta.  We made the unspoken pact to stay forever friends through social media, but eventually, that seemed to fizzle away.  New friends popped up.  New responsibilities.  Jobs, families, cities.  People change and people lose touch.  We can never go back and try to reclaim what we had... we can just hold on to the memories.

I'm so glad I have these pictures and the awesome reminders of our time together.
I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Meagan and I in Aix-en-Provence, France

Andrew, Michael, Andrew's brother and Sean - before our night out at the Fox.

Sean, Meagan and I at UO, Eugene, OR

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I know that I have unfollowed people.  It's kinda funny what becomes annoying, but at some point, it's okay to be like "this person is going to survive without my input".  Sometimes I get tired of seeing perfect families and adorable kids, and if I'm feeling particularly moody, I unfollow the heck out of someone and invoke their absense.  Other times I unfollow because I want to forget a person.  And this is the hardest for me.  I have all these words that I want to say but when push comes to shove, I just want to let them go. 

And then sometimes I realize that I'm not the only one who has the ability to unfollow.  And if in haven't heard from a friend in years, then it makes me wonder at what point I became the annoying one?  At what point did my life seem better?  At what point did they decide that they wanted to forget me?

And I know that it is just a natural progression in the grand scheme of things, so I accept it, for the most part. I put on my big girl panties and I blog about it.  I listen to moody music.  I escape from the world for a second, but then I move on.

And I move on.
I live for my present and I find joy in my everyday.
I delight in my daughter and I banter with my husband.
And I live. 
And I dream about my tomorrow's and find comfort in their promise.
Smile.