Thoughts before bed...

I'm worried about not getting a full-time job in time for us to start looking at a house. I've applied to two counties and a few smaller schools, and nothing yet. But school is still in session, or just got out, so I'm not super panicky just yet... lol.

I'm really hoping for Cherokee County and will probably call sometime soon to see if they have all of my application and references, and all that jazz.

I watched the movie High Fidelity the other night with Gary and found it quite intriguing! First of all, I pretty much love anything with John Cusack, but this movie went further with some relationship insights that helped me with where I am now, surprisingly. Looking at things, I am so happy with Gary and couldn't ask for anything more.

We have 108 more days until our wedding day, and boocles of other things to get done before then. But it will all work out! It will all have it's reason, and I have faith that everything will turn out okay! I have a renewed sense of God that has come from our going to a church regularly and me really searching myself for what I believe. And although I will admit I was turning away from Him some, my Religious Studies and newfound relationships have really strengthened my own beliefs,and for that I am greatful!

... And I believe that is all for now!
Arrivederci!

People say I'm a Dreamer...

So I had another interesting dream last night that involved (almost) kissing another guy. It's not so much that I almost kiss another guy as much as the excuses that I find not to that makes it interesting. lol. But anyways...

I was on some sort of trip with Laura, some friends, and this guy (who vaguely resembled this gy I used to know). For some readon, I was sitting on the ground and the guy helped me up with both hands. So we stood up and my hand grazed my breast. And I looked at him, and it was almost as if he was trying to gauge my reaction, and then I yelled at him "Don't touch my boob! (twice). And then for the rest of the trip he was sulking and all quiet and stuff.

And then later, we were in this really bright, mall-looking place with dark carpet and plants, and my "friends" came up to me and told me that I should go kiss him and make him feel better, and that if I did they wouldn't tell Gary for me. And my response was "I don't think so because as soon as we stop being friends, I know you are going to go straight to Gary to tell him!" And so I didn't. lol

But yea, so that was fun!

In other news:
I passed the GACE for Middle Grades Language Arts which means that I can teach in the fall if I get hired somewhere, which is absolutely fabulous!
I'm just about to finish with school. I have all of my finals behind me, and all I have left is a final paper which is due Friday. It's pretty intense and weird to think that I won't be on campus any more. But I'm ready for the next chapter!

Oh, and my Grandma is in the hospital. They discovered that she had Colon cancer which had then spread to her Liver, and the oncologist is not extremely hopeful that chemotherapy would be effective. If you could please keep us in your prayers, that would be appreciated!!

MiAmI

I am sooooooooo excited about Miami!! But, of course, I am not packed yet. This time tomorrow we will be on the road, and headin south... but I have to get through a day of school first, and the rest of my laundry. lol.

But Yay!!!

feelin brave

I've been toying with the idea of getting my hair cut pretty short over the last few days. I haven't been happy with it lately, and it is clearly not working with me... so I've been thinking about ideas to make it better. I figure it's summer time, so it will be cute short... and it's also long enough before the wedding that if I didn't like it, I could grow it out and still be happy. But anyways, I was watching tv and their was a blurb about dailymakeover.com in which you could upload a picture, and try out different hair styles and stuff. So I did, and found that there were quite a few shorter hairstyles that actually seemed to work with my face, and looked good?!?

I showed mom and Gary my creation, and they seemed fairly positive. So I went and took a shower and bravely, started choppin away at myself. 30 minutes, a blow dry, and straight iron later, my hair was short and straight and I love it!! It feels soooo much better, and acts so much better as well. It's probably going to be straight more often, because I imagine that curly at this short stage would be teeny-tiny! lol.

But yes, I'm proud of my self-do, and even more proud that I didn't have to pay anything for a good haircut!! lol.

And then today after stopping at Bagel Boys (garlic bagel with veggie cream cheese... toasted... = love) on the way to work, this guy was honking at me to tell me that alas I had a flat tire. Turns out a screw had wound itself into the side of my tire, and eventually, it had taken it's toll and turned my tire flat. So, after work I figured I would take it to a gas station, put some air in it, and figure out what to do next when I got home. But as I tried to leave the parking lot, I definitely felt the lag and didn't feel entirely safe trekking the mile to the gas station.

So I got brave and ambitious, and decided that I would change my flat tire (gasp!) without anyone there to help me, besides the handy user booklet included with the car. And I was even doing really good, and had high hopes, when these Y patrons drove up next to my parked car and asked if I needed help. I succumbed, but admitted that I would probably have taken 3 hours in the 20 minutes that it took him. lol. He was funny though, and his wife and daughter watched on in humor also as he completed the task for me, the damsel. And I even noted that if he needed a bandaid for his hands (that were getting roughed up from turning the wrench against the pavement) that I had some. But he just said that his hands were simply soft from doing the dishes that morning... a task that he didn't normally have to do. lol. I decided to leave my less-than-shocked comments to myself and simply chuckled a bit.

At any rate, I made it home on my spare, and Gary and I went to get me two new back tires, and then have spent the rest of the afternoon chillin at home.

... and Laura's on a date right now!

:)

The weather is going to be amazing for the Renaissance Festival tomorrow! Mid 50s and partly cloudy! It will be so nice!

And then on Thursday, we leave for Miami! Again, I am so excited! We're driving down and staying in a hostel (which is actually right across from the beach! in the heart of miami! and we have a private room! and it's cheaper than any other option not near the airport!) and we'll be seeing a lot of Gary's peops!

But this happens after the 8-10 page draft of my last big paper is due on Tuesday.

Again, I'm still feeling brave, and am confident that it'll get done!! Soon!!

minor complaints

1. I don't like double standards... if anything, at least follow the golden rule.
2. Speaking of golden, everything has been covered in a blanket of yellow warm snow... pollen. At least the bees are happy.
3. My Psyc Intro to Sex class is ridiculous. Staying on topic and under control would be something nice to consider...
4. eh.
5. Male chauvinism is one of my biggest pet-peeves.
6. Those that condone it, should be banished.
7. At least participate when called upon........
8. And then respond effectively so that we know you are listening.
9. Why are all of the new interesting songs kinda depressing?
10. Remember, for every negative thing you say, 5 positive things should be said to offset the hurt you inevitably just caused.

Twirls

We went to Huntsville last weekend to see STOMP for Laura's birthday. The show was probably the best STOMP I have ever seen, and the trip all in all was pretty good! Me and Gary got to be the parents of the wild kids... that part I could have done without. lol. But it wasn't a bad drive, and the scenery was pretty, and it was a nice little getaway. I'm super excited about Miami next weekend! The long drive, the new city, and the meeting of Gary's peops! It should be a lot of fun!

And this weekend is the start of the Renaissance Festival! YAY! 2 for 1 tickets for opening weekend, so we are definitely going to be there! I need to check on the weather though.

In school news, graduation is getting closer and closer. I'm about to head to the Commencement Fair, and see what that's going to be about, and then get through classes...

I'm still working on my Feminism and Comic Books paper. I'm doing it in response to a book we read in my English class ("The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay"), and although the book didn't specifically deal with feminism, there are a few points in which it did, and I'm going to expand upon those points and bring in some more research and make a glorious paper out of it. It's an interesting topic and there's quite a bit of information about it out there, so I'm excited overall!

I put up pictures on facebook today. Spanning from Laura's birthday to Easter to last weekend and etc. They're humorous and quaint, and make me smile!

Happy Tuesday! :)

dizzyness

I sat up way to fast this morning, after waking up, and have had a dizzy spell that has lasted all day now. It's a bit better though tonight, and hopefully will not be there tomorrow. It has kept me pretty much stationary all day long, which has helped me stay focused on things that I am supposed to be doing (like studying for my Soci test)...

And that I did. I got my notecards done, and I'm in the process of reading the few remaining articles, and its just a matter of general review that I will have to do tomorrow morning, which is nice.

I also took some time to :lolly-gag: around. I looked through all of the pictures on my computer (one of my favorites is posted above), did some wedding research, found a really good deal on something that I was looking for, and googled over all of the ways that I could spend my money. (But I can't spend money right now... not yet at least).

And I got some stamps so I can send out my Graduation Announcements (Yay!) and some cash so that I can pay for parking... always a good thing! lol

:)

Dreams for a Sunday

I got a job at Starbucks! There was this other barista guy there, and I think it was my first day... or something. Anyways, we kept flirting back and forth and he was really nice! At some point, I was standing in front of the computer, and he was behind me and he put his arms around me. And then we almost kissed, but I was like "no, I'm engaged", so we stopped just before our lips touched. But then I was like, "but wait... you can go out on a date with my sister." lol!

It was an interesting dream, and then I met up with Gary in Atlanta, where I yet again was looking for my car and parking. It seems I have a lot of dreams about parking decks, and parking, and Atlanta. It's not the Atlanta we all know and love though, no. It's expansive and got big areas of just land with the city just to the side. It's always interesting.

I'm guessing the dreams came from my intense emotions from yesterday. I was pretty up and down. I felt better waking up though.

... the first kiss of the day is always nice!

::stomach grumbles::

I just finished the GACE! I think I actually might have passed, and I am interested to see what the results will be! I hope I passed!

I'm quite sick of working my silly little part-time jobs and really want something steady, nicely paid, and interesting. My current positions just don't do it for me anymore. But I figure I graduate in May. And I found out the results for the GACE at the end of April. Everything has the potential of falling into place quite nicely... if it wants to.

But I'm glad its over for now! I want lunch (went to breakfast at Ihopat 6:30 this morning because we had to report to Pope by 7:45. And then I was done witht the test by 10:30ish), and to work on my homework and studying, and creating crafts for PMO. And maybe a little fun every now and then.

Arrivederci!

non-coffee high

So... I'm taking the certification test of Saturday morning, and now it's starting to kick in that it would be a very good thing for me to pass so that I could have some sort of job prospect coming up in the near future. I got the exam prep book, and I've been going through that, but I hope that I do alright! I'm a bit nervous. It's kinda like taking the SAT and it's even at a high school, and it's at 7:45 in the morning. lol.

I want to go into a word document and make an outline of all the "important" terms from the book so that I can have a last minute prep guide, but I'm running out of time quickly. I have the rest of this morning, possibly tonight, tomorrow afternoon, and then the test is on Saturday. lol. And I want to make sure I'm adequately studied up before I take the practice test in the back of the prep book.

But anywho, after the test (which I will pass!), I'm going to be addressing my graduation announcements to send out to family. ::I need to get stamps::. I can't believe I graduate in May, and school will be over by the end of April! Eeep! hehe. And by that point, I should know the results of the test.

After school gets out, we're gonna get down to business. I can't wait to start looking for houses, and trying to figure out where we are going to start our lives. And I will need to get a job secured so that we will be able to afford such house. And we need to get all of the wedding stuff wrapped up and all in a nice, neat package. lol. Yeah right... I'm going to be working right up till the day to get everything ready. But that's kinda the way I like it anyways.

I'm surprisingly hyper and aware despite the lack of coffee and loom of important things that I should be doing right now...

Oh, and gosh is my April going to be busy! lol. The first weekend, Gary, Laura, Aaron, Justin, Katie, and I are going to Huntsville, AL to see Stomp (for Laura's birthday), so we'll be gone Saturday and Sunday. The next weekend (the 12th) the Renaissance Festival starts, and we definitely want to go! I want to see about getting a corset (if it's not toooo overpriced). The 17th through the 20th, Gary and I are driving down to Miami (yes, driving... 11 hours worth, overnight...) to visit with his friends and family, and for him to show me around where he grew up and the sights and all that jazz. The last weekend we have another meeting at PCC, but it's with the Marriage Counselor to go over the results of our temperment exam. That should be interesting indeed! And I'll be writing a 8 to 10 page research paper, a reading review, preparing for my last tests, and reading another novel, all in the process. lol.

Wish me luck!! :)

wedding dress

So, I've decided to sell my first wedding dress on Craigslist. I was going to attempt to sell it on ebay, but once I started looking at how many dresses were already on there, and noticed the fact that practically none had bids on them, I was slightly disheartened, and sat there for awhile not making any decisions about what to do with it...

But, on Saturday I went to my dad's for Easter dinner, and my step-sister-in-law told me that I shoul try Craigslist. It's free and they had had lots of luck on it, so I decided to give it a shot, and this morning, instead of studying, I put it up there for exactly what I paid for it. We'll see what happens. Hopefully, someone will fall in love with it, and want it! hehe.

Here's to wishing!

Wedding update

And I'm really enjoying this whole wedding planning thing. We've gotten the majority of the big vendors settled, and just have all of the little things left to do for the most part. We've gotten a photographer, a cake baker (yummy!), obviously the church and reception site, and I'm trying to think of the other things... Oh, and the food part (which my dad and stepmom said they would pay for) and ideas about the flowers (which will probably be expensive, but not nearly as expensive as one vendor estimated... puhlease. lol), and the dress, and bridesmaids dresses. And we have a dj picked out, the invitations (a kit we found at Michaels), and we have registered at a few different places.

I'm soooo excited! It's going to be a black and white theme! And my dress is black and white too!

We're trying to figure out favors, and the various showers, and luncheons, and the Bridesmaids gifts and etc. I have so many cute ideas, and I can't wait to put it all together! And I need to see about getting my dress altered, selling the first dress. Gary and I need to start looking for tux options for him. Oh, and I need to start looking for shoes. :) And a get-away outfit. And then there's the honeymoon details, and etc. I'm trying to decide if I think it would be worth it to round up a whole bunch of vintage postcards or pictures and then have a place set up where the guests can write a kind message on the back for us to keep. It would/could be cute, and would be a nice touch.

But yay!

Oh, and we have our second meeting with the officiant this Tuesday, and we will be talking about communication and how to fight fair. All I can think about is "License to Wed" and all the humor that entailed. It should be fun... :) hehe.

Arrivederci!

Clear the air...

I've come to an interesting point in my life...
I graduate in May from GSU with a BA in Religious Studies,
I am going to be taking a teaching certification test in a week,
I am going to be buying a house this summer with my fiance,
getting married in September,
and hoping to find a stable, full-time job somewhere in the midst of all of that.

I am beginning to evaluate my life and what it has taken to get me here today, and I have come to the decision that I am done with all of the bull-shit and unsavory people in my life, and that, in general, I need to set out to clear the air of all the negative things... or at least try to get them further away. lol.

So, being that I am kicked off my mom's insurance in may when I graduate, I made doctor's appointments for check-ups, started going on walks, taking in the scenery, and thinking about my daily behavior and well-being. Then I evaluated my friends. I've deleted people that cause me pain from my viewsite (in the forms of my facebook and myspace accounts). It may seem silly, but as a major way that I keep in touch with people, there are some people with whom I no longer have a wish to keep in touch with, or have any concern over what they do. As a result, 3 people that used to be extremely important to me, have lost their connection with me, and will remain adrift, at the sake of their own mishaps. It's freeing to clear the air in that respect.

I had strone away from blogspot because it proved to be yet another site of connection between these people, but when I had to create a new account, I was discouraged. However, instead of leaving it to rest as a sole association with them, I am starting anew. It's still here to vent (to whoever happens to listen), and to develop thoughts, and put my own life into sorts in yet another venue.

I had just finished a book for my Contemporary Lit class that dealt with the idea of hope and escape, and the forms that those can take. I believe that this book helped me think about the ways in which I am continuously hoping, and "escaping".

For the longest time, I sought solice in my ability to dream up an ideal reality, with the hopes that one day, I would find my prince charming and live happily ever after. Now, I have found my prince charming, and I going to live happily ever after, but it is going to be in a real-life form and not a sortof fairytale. I was burned by a guy, my best friend, my parents, my job, and other circumstances, but :hope: was always there.

Now, I am less than 6 months away from getting married, and I can't wonder but how I happened to grow up so fast. I'm a "big girl now" and I suddenly have all of these adult responsibilities. And yes it is stressful, and yes I still cry sometimes, but the strength that I have found in myself and in my mom, and Gary, and others close to me, has allowed me to feel comfortable, confident, and stable. And that's the amazing feat of it all! I am allowing myself to grow as I clear the air, and in that, letting go of the past that hurt me so.

All in all, I'm ready!