Dreams

Something that I tell people about myself is that I go to sleep to dream. I love them and have always been fascinated by the mind's ability to create these fantastical stories. Sometimes I will go through spurts where I will have very vivid dreams nights in a row and other times, there will be a dry spell.

You have to wonder at their purpose.
My mom gave me a really good dream-symbol book (Mary Summer Rain's Guide to Dream Symbols) years ago that has shed some insight, but still you wonder. I love being able to recall them and find wonder in how quickly they will dissappear. I can remember sitting in bed after waking from a dream and literally feeling the dream leave my mind... my mind trying desperately to cling to any detail or trace of memory that would give me some respite. But sometimes they just go and are gone forever.

But sometimes they stay.
And if I'm smart, I'll take note.
Because I love them.

Some reoccurring dreams from my past:
- Being followed by the witch-lady from the Sword and the Stone (animated) down a cobblestone street with thatch-roofed houses.
- Teeth falling out.
- Driving off of a cliff (before we traveled to Slovenia) and falling toward a field of green grass.
- A night circus-like party out in the country where everyone parked among the field and the building was falling apart and made of tin roofing pieces, old screens, and vintage signs.
- Parking decks that would change shape and levels.
- Mountain-top lodges at the top of a mountain that seemed hard to summit.
- Kissing someone backwards while traveling up an escalator in the middle of a mall with great natural light.
- Airplane travel and airports I've never been to.
- An old friend who was as illusive in person as in my dreams.

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You were wearing red Chucks and before I woke up, you said "any other questions before signing off?" It was like an instant message that popped up in front of my dream.

It made me wonder if you do own a pair of red Chucks. And when it comes to unanswered questions, yes I do.

Friday thoughts...

Today as I was driving home from dropping my babes off at daycare, I started wondering if it was too early to consider boarding school. Penny had an absolute melt down that started in ths parking lot at home, first, because she had to buckled in to the car seat, second, because she dropped the water cup outside and daddy picked it up and took it back in with him. And so, the whole way to school was filled with "no" and little whimpers. It breaks my heart and makes me question my lack-of-patience. I suppose everyone goes through this. G swears that it is normal.

But still, there was a fleeting moment of boarding school consideration.

I think I just needed to calm down.

So I came home, made some breakfast, pumped for the baby, and headed to Starbucks. 

And bam... after some time with an iced coffee and social media, I'm feeling better.

As hard as it is during those moments, I have to remember that she is still awesome. She is absolutely adorable other times. And she is going to become an amazing woman. I need to nurture that and be there for her when she is struggling and be mindful that this life is still pretty new to her. And she is doing the best she can.

Pray that I remember that.

WW Update

It's been about 5 weeks or so, and I'm down about 12 lbs. I am getting comfy in this skin, and people are starting to notice!
Clothes are fitting better, even if it's just the slightest of changes, and my confidence is soaring!

G is also down! He's lost 20 lbs so far and is looking great! I am so proud of him and thankful that he is on this journey with me. He's got about 30 more to get to his goal weight and I've got about 12 to go.