Favs from Nola

I was looking through some old photo albums today and ran across my album from our trip to New Orleans from 2011.
Man have we changed. Ha!
I went back and read my blog from the trip (I was in the middle of my 365 project), and it's amazing what you remember vs. what you record.
I recall New Orleans being quite "seedy", but there is a whole bunch of beauty to the place.

Anyways, here are a few of my favorite pictures from the trip.
So much to see. So much history.

Metairie Cemetery

The "Fallen Angel" statue lives here.

::Fallen Angel::

A Rant and Randomness

I have become quite deliberate in my old older age.
I am very conscious about what I put out in to the world and what I expect from the world in return.
I respect the rules of karma and divine paths and faith, and count on them to see me through my days.

I have issues with evil, bad guys and hurting for intent. I also recognize, however, that they are a part of the world, and therefore are a part of the plan. And there is a plan. And that plan is from God. And eventhough they seem awful, there are a series of checks and balances, ebbs and flow, that make the world what it is.

It is hard to fathom the plan in the midst of heartache or anxiety or worry, because accepting that the heartache, the anxiety, the worry is justified... is rather troublesome.

That's why I try my best to not put those things in to the world, and to not surround myself with those things. Which again, can be hard.

Today has been funky.
I am in a fight with my hubby right now.
It's revolves around his Christmas gift to me. And not necessarily the gift itself, but the fact that he thinks he heard one thing when I didn't say it.

He got me new Pioneer Woman pots and pans for Christmas. It's a large set that includes a jumbo cooker with a lid, an iron skillet, and 4 or 5 other pieces. And while the set looks really nice, and it's a pretty blue, we don't need new pots and pans. And I have an issue accumulating things just because. Like I said, I've become quite deliberate. He thinks I asked for new pots and pans at some point, which I didn't. Our pots and pans are fine. We need a new jumbo cooker, which I had mentioned, and I believe he mis-took that mention as pots and pans (plural). Which is completely unfounded...
So that lead to our fight.
I feel like I have to ask him to listen to me so that I can grab his attention for a moment.
Otherwise, he hears parts of sentences... and parts of sentences incorrectly.

And what makes it even worse is that we are both too stubborn to back down. He is adamant that I said we need new pots and pans, where I am adamant that I wouldn't have said it... because we don't need new pots and pans. Why would I say we need new, if we don't?
And he said that when he got me the gift, he wasn't even that happy with it.
And he said that it was really more of a gift for him, since he is the one who is doing the most cooking right now.

At any rate, we talked/fought the whole way to work this morning and then we left it up in the air like that. Usually we will talk or text or send each other link on Facebook Messenger...
But today has been quiet.
Which makes me think that he is mad too.

-----

I am in desperate need of some quality time with him, without any distraction. With a 6 month old and a 2.5 year old, that is hard to do. Most days, I spend my evenings nursing Courter, putting Penny to bed, and falling asleep early. We both work full time and leave the house before the sun comes up. Our days are long and hectic, and I have very little "me" time, let alone time with my husband. Maybe the new year will bring a moment to slow down and catch our breaths and focus on each other.

Merry Christmas Adam

Tonight I asked G if it would be weird/okay if we didn't get to see Santa this year. He reassured me that we did not need to and that it wouldn't hurt anyone if we didn't. I felt a sort of immediate relief at that. I find myself needing the picture of the two kids sitting on Santa's lap to share with the world. But then I'm like... "for what?". And I'm not sure if it's slightly bah-humbug-ish, or if I'm struggling/coming to terms with the consumerism of Christmas, or if I need to take a break from social media so that I can stop comparing myself and my family to others...

But anywho, back to today and back to Santa. For the record, we tried. We had plans to go to a Christmas-lit hayride tonight, and Santa was to be there, so we were all set! But then the plans changed for the other half of our party and we are post-poning it a week. That meant no pre-Christmas Santa. So today, after being cooped up at home with a toddler ailed with strep and a hubby trying to work, I decided that we would pick up the baby from daycare, venture to the mall, pop in for a quick minute to see Santa, then be on our way to get the rest of the things done (because if you know me, you know that there are always things to be done). Well that plan went about as well as the rest of my day. Read not.

The mall was packed! The line to see Santa was super long! The only store we needed to go into for kid pajamas (thanks to a gift card) was also packed and lacked the cuteness that I was hoping for. No go. So with babies in hand (albeit slightly tired and hungry), we made our way back to the car, through the sea of people, up the escalator with a stroller, and out the closest door we could find.

Total bust.
No Santa. No PJs.

We opted for the Arby's for dinner. It has an extra large dining area and is never busy, so we don't feel weird about Penny running amuck. Which she enjoys doing btw. Then we hightailed it to the Hobby store, picked up one gift, then made it home.

And now everyone else is sleeping.
I can sit. The only sound is the breathing of the souls in this place, and the slight whoosh of the ceiling fan above me.

I feel like I need to pray and re-center. I heard once that when things seem to be going wrong, find God. Make Him the center and ask Him to direct. Today was definitely one of those days where things were going wrong. But it's okay. It's just a day. Time moves on.

Image: @andrearhowey (Instagram)

I saw this verse (different translation) on the back of a pick-up a few weeks ago and it has kinda stuck with me. I am all about believing that God has a path and that every moment is part of that path, but I need to be better about trusting and seeking His will.

Maybe a resolution for 2017?

At any rate, tonight is Christmas Adam. Adam was before Eve. 😜 I saw someone mention that on social media and hearted it. That's a good way to end today. Tonight we shall dream, and tomorrow shall be welcomed in all of it's glory. 

Merry Christmas Adam!

Dreams

Something that I tell people about myself is that I go to sleep to dream. I love them and have always been fascinated by the mind's ability to create these fantastical stories. Sometimes I will go through spurts where I will have very vivid dreams nights in a row and other times, there will be a dry spell.

You have to wonder at their purpose.
My mom gave me a really good dream-symbol book (Mary Summer Rain's Guide to Dream Symbols) years ago that has shed some insight, but still you wonder. I love being able to recall them and find wonder in how quickly they will dissappear. I can remember sitting in bed after waking from a dream and literally feeling the dream leave my mind... my mind trying desperately to cling to any detail or trace of memory that would give me some respite. But sometimes they just go and are gone forever.

But sometimes they stay.
And if I'm smart, I'll take note.
Because I love them.

Some reoccurring dreams from my past:
- Being followed by the witch-lady from the Sword and the Stone (animated) down a cobblestone street with thatch-roofed houses.
- Teeth falling out.
- Driving off of a cliff (before we traveled to Slovenia) and falling toward a field of green grass.
- A night circus-like party out in the country where everyone parked among the field and the building was falling apart and made of tin roofing pieces, old screens, and vintage signs.
- Parking decks that would change shape and levels.
- Mountain-top lodges at the top of a mountain that seemed hard to summit.
- Kissing someone backwards while traveling up an escalator in the middle of a mall with great natural light.
- Airplane travel and airports I've never been to.
- An old friend who was as illusive in person as in my dreams.

-----

You were wearing red Chucks and before I woke up, you said "any other questions before signing off?" It was like an instant message that popped up in front of my dream.

It made me wonder if you do own a pair of red Chucks. And when it comes to unanswered questions, yes I do.

Friday thoughts...

Today as I was driving home from dropping my babes off at daycare, I started wondering if it was too early to consider boarding school. Penny had an absolute melt down that started in ths parking lot at home, first, because she had to buckled in to the car seat, second, because she dropped the water cup outside and daddy picked it up and took it back in with him. And so, the whole way to school was filled with "no" and little whimpers. It breaks my heart and makes me question my lack-of-patience. I suppose everyone goes through this. G swears that it is normal.

But still, there was a fleeting moment of boarding school consideration.

I think I just needed to calm down.

So I came home, made some breakfast, pumped for the baby, and headed to Starbucks. 

And bam... after some time with an iced coffee and social media, I'm feeling better.

As hard as it is during those moments, I have to remember that she is still awesome. She is absolutely adorable other times. And she is going to become an amazing woman. I need to nurture that and be there for her when she is struggling and be mindful that this life is still pretty new to her. And she is doing the best she can.

Pray that I remember that.

WW Update

It's been about 5 weeks or so, and I'm down about 12 lbs. I am getting comfy in this skin, and people are starting to notice!
Clothes are fitting better, even if it's just the slightest of changes, and my confidence is soaring!

G is also down! He's lost 20 lbs so far and is looking great! I am so proud of him and thankful that he is on this journey with me. He's got about 30 more to get to his goal weight and I've got about 12 to go.

Courter - 4 months

Courter is four months old!

He is such an amazing baby and is super smiley!

We are so blessed by him!

Courter - 3 months

Courter is 3 months old! He is developing such a cute little personality!

New journey!

My hubby and I joined Weight Watchers tonight! For me, I am noticing that my fasting blood glucose level is going up, even if ever so slightly, and I want to get those numbers a little more under control.
I also don't want to go back on meds, so I'm hoping that this will help.

And since G also wants to shed some pounds, he is going to do it with me... which I think is going to be a huge motivator for me!

Starting weight: 184
Goal weight (reasonable): 170
Goal weight (stretch): 160

Wish us luck! 😘

First day of school!

It's funny what worries come up in a single day.

Today we dropped off both kids for school. That's right, BOTH kids.
Today is Courter's first day of daycare. Insert crying emoji here.

And with that came a whole new set of worries.
- Will he be okay?
- Will he take the bottles for his teachers?
- Did I provide enough breastmilk?
- Will they have trouble warming the bottles?
Gah...

Courter - 2 months

Courter is 2 months old!
Gosh, shots neve get easy... poor thing.
He is growing and is still off the charts! We love his rolls and everything about him!

Courter - 1 month

Our little guy is a month old - I can hardly believe it!
We are all adjusting well. Penny loves him and always wants to hold him, sit next to him, and tickle him.
It's terrifying, in the sweetest of ways.

Still a little sore from the c-section and still sleeping on the recliner.

Life is good!

He's here!!

Courter Alexander Perrin

June 29, 2016 at 11:30am

9 lbs 7 oz

💙

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A few years ago, we visited my Grandfather up in Young Harris. He has always been one of my favorite people and fills this world with charisma, respect and charm. He looked at each new day with joy and when asked by strangers how he was doing, he would respond "Gettin' better every day!"

Well, we were shooting the breeze and he was talking about how him and his current wife met, and how it was his goal to court her. That stuck with me because I know that was his character.

When it came time to name our son, I was taken back to that conversation.

And that's where Courter came from.

It is my hope that our son will be filled with charisma, respect, and charm just like my grandfather. And that he will love others and be a strong Christian and always look for the joy and good in people.

Happy June!

This promises to be an exciting month!

First, my parents are throwing my cousin and I a joint baby shower this weekend. She is due with her second baby girl a few weeks before us, and being that we are rather close, a joint shower sounded like something right up our alley!

Second, our summer series at church starts this month. I can't wait to get back into some Sunday evening activities and get reconnected with our group!

Third, big things are happening at work! We are getting a new website, my temporary replacement is starting training in a few weeks, we have a new customer service rep starting that same week, and we are in the midst of a huge branding project! That, along with small daily activities makes for busy days an busy weeks. But, it's all worth it!

Fourth, Father's Day is a few short weeks away! I want to do something for G that goes above and beyond, but I'm not exactly sure what that will entail yet... but I do have an idea. :)

Fifth, baby boy!! That's right, sometime towards the end of the month, he will be here! And our lives will never be the same! I, of course, am full of emotions and wonder at what this little boy will be like. We are so excited! He is still measuring big and is moving around nicely! Recently, he has been all up in my ribs and every now and then I wince. Growing a baby is such a interesting/cool experience, and I am so honored that God has allowed me to experience it!
I am in the nesting stage. I have an overwhelming need to be at home getting everything organized! I want to prep all of the baby gear and get it set up in it's place, wash some of the pertinent clothing and get the hospital bag packed. And it will happen... soon!

34 weeks and 3 days

Here is a link to our registries:
https://babyli.st/baby-perrin-2
https://www-secure.target.com/gift-registry/giftgiver?registryId=3A4r7JNQRym4omwQktSAZw

That's all for now!
Cheers to an ever-exciting and momentous month!

Unworthy

Sometimes I feel so unworthy...
Our LifeGroup is filled by 3 great couples, and each of them seems to be more in touch with their faith and the bible in general, than we are.
I told Gary on the way home that LifeGroup has been such a sobering experience for me. It really makes me think about things and often I end up in tears.

I want to grow spiritually and nourish these friendships, but I need to get over the fact that they may be in a different place than me and instead focus of my personal walk.

I know that faith is a journey and that I need to give it all to God, but how do you do that?
I guess that's the point... you have to have faith.

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Today is the first day of Spring, Palm Sunday, and International Day of Happiness.
I'm tired, but I've been super tired this week in general.
Baby boy is measuring 2 weeks early, which is intriguing. I'm excited for our scan this Friday, to see how he's doing in there. He's really been moving. He gave me a few really good jabs today.

23 and 23

This week, little Miss is 23 months old and I am 23 weeks pregnant with baby boy.

I find that worth noting.

In less than a month, we will have a 2-year old in the house.

And in less that 4 months, we will be a family of four.

Life is surreal sometimes.

I find myself cherishing every moment that she falls asleep on me.

For soon, there will be two vying for the spot.

But in the end, she will always be my baby.

Mood

Is it really only Wednesday? Today needs a shot of espresso and a magic wand, oh, and a chill pill.

I'm twenty weeks prego this week and the hormones are acting up in full force.

Tifts with the hubby, shortened patience string, and general don't-mess-it attitude,

all week so far, but especially this morning.

Too many projects up in the air at work.

Too many 'I can't handle watching you try to figure this out moments.

Too many decisions that require more than one person... which is never easy.

And then there's the feeling that everything is going to collide, all at once.

Yes, today needs to chill.

But then, the sun came out after all of that rain, and it led to a nice breath of air

and a glance at the bigger picture.

Today is just another day.

It is just another test in patience.

And a rememberance to practice the traits of Timothy and Epaphroditus (Phil 2:19...)

Compassion, Faithfulness, Dependable, Servitude, Availability, Trusthworthiness

Point blank... your character matters.

And how you react to situations can call you to amazing things, or lead you to failure.

Overall and everyday,

my desire is to be refined by YOU!

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Monday. 20 weeks pregnant. Baby boy is a-coming! :)